It started as five days. Wanting to support a friend through his juice fast and daily workouts, and saying Ok, I’ll do yoga for those days. An agreement to myself to roll out the mat and get on it. It came out of a need for something, anything, to shift. The need for an opening, for some space, for clarity. Holding myself accountable during a time when everything seems to be in flux, simply because it feels like something I have control over.
And then I am reminded as soon as I get into that tadasana, Oh right, this is not about control. It’s about making a commitment to myself, to my health and wellbeing and peace of mind, even when I don’t feel like it or I’m in a mood or my arms are sore from yesterday’s downward dog. This is about reconnecting with my body and remembering how it feels to be in it, fully. This is about doing something good for myself every day. Just because I deserve that shit.
It’s not easy or graceful. My arms shake, my knee flops in, the endless chatter of my mind makes me annoyed with my own self. But there are also the moments when I feel strong, when my alignment is better than it was the day before, when I stop holding my breath. When after saying Ok, just five minutes. I only have to do five minutes because that’s better than nothing, I find the inspiration and self-love to keep going. To keep showing up.