Today is the new moon in Scorpio. I have been feeling the energy of this moon, as it falls in my third house of communication, ideas, travel, and the environment. I am reflecting on these themes as I am here in Caye Caulker, looking out at the sea and absorbing the watery wisdom of Scorpio, thinking about how the power of thoughts and ideas has brought me to live here in Belize, to actualize that dream and manifest my purpose, one day at a time.
It hasn’t been easy, and this I contemplate as I rest my awareness on all that has brought me to this moment, to this place of beauty and magic. How difficult it has been at times to stay connected to my purpose amid so much change and transition. How, in my moments of fear and insecurity, I have given my power away by allowing a wounded narrative and the pain of past disappointments and failures to shape my current experience.
Scorpio reminds me that plunging into the depths and seeing what is there is necessary for healing and transformation. That the old must be destroyed to make space for the new. That in order to love and embrace another in their shadow and light, I must first love and embrace my own.
This morning began with rain, wind, and heavy grey clouds. Slowly, the sun began to peek out from behind and shift the bottomless midnight sea into a clear turquoise. I swam out into the waves and dove deep, the water enveloping me in cold and then back to warm again as I ascended to the surface. I thanked Yemaya for the blessing of her waters, for her nurturing, for always letting me in to release my suffering and find joy in being bathed in her light. I thanked Olokun for opening me to the deep, dark ocean of myself and not keeping me there, for infusing me with strength and resilience in my diving below, for always returning me into Yemaya’s grace. I thanked my ancestors for bringing me here and holding me in love.
At 11:47 a.m., the moment of the new moon here in Belize, I jumped off the dock and into the sea, the embodiment of my commitment to the journey, of my willingness to dive into the unknown and trust the waters of my intuition to guide me.