Yesterday I went to a Reiki circle sharing at Sera’s yoga studio. Even though I am a Reiki Master and have been practicing for fifteen years, I rarely get treatments for myself. It’s been a long time since someone did Reiki on me, and I found myself having a lot of thoughts and feelings about what it means to receive, particularly as a healing and helping person.
I call myself a “healing and helping person” not because I love how that sounds (I don’t), but because it encompasses a lot of the work that I do as a therapist, Reiki master, artist, facilitator and educator. I have worn many hats over the years and they all revolve around assisting and facilitating the healing process of others.
But what if I’m the one who needs healing?
Over the years I have developed a practice for myself which includes different forms of healing and wellness, and that practice has expanded since I’ve been in Belize. I still practice yoga every day, journal and write most days (I have 3 notebooks for different kinds of writing), meditate most days for at least 5 minutes, ground my spirituality with crystals and tarot and altars and ancestral prayers, and try to take a mindfulness approach to supporting my own mental and emotional health.
It’s a lot of work.
As satisfying as it is to have this practice and give so much nurturing and nourishment to myself and my spirit, sometimes it is really necessary to create space for receiving. I’ve stopped thinking it’s a virtue to pretend to be some kind of superwoman and do everything myself, all the time, without help. At the same time, I find that, because of the work I do, I tend to think first about giving healing before receiving it.
Receiving Reiki yesterday was a reminder that I, too, deserve to be healed.
I’m realizing that part of what I am learning in Belize is how to take in and be changed by what is around me. That learning and understanding are essential to my experience – being open to what is here and responding to it. And as much as that involves outwardly engaging and offering what I have to give, it also means being vulnerable and receiving all that this place has to offer, teach, and share with me.