Unpacking: What We Carry

feet on sandy beach

I’ve been living in our little cabin on the farm for a week and a half, and am getting more and more settled every day. The land is absolutely wonderful, and I’m incredibly grateful for the peace of mind this place is providing me. I’m loving all the nature that is right outside my door, the relaxed vibe, and how welcoming the community has been. I’m finding my rhythm here – starting my mornings on the porch with my journal and tea, sitting outside under my favorite tree to listen and reflect, and exploring some good spots to do yoga asanas. I’m getting used to the short walk into town to buy stuff from the market and shops, or to the bus stop on the days that I travel, and even rode one of the owner’s bikes into town a couple of times with Ro (which is still a whole thing, but I’ll get there).

The process of settling in also means unpacking some boxes with things we kept put away after we moved from our first apartment in Belize. Since our last place felt so temporary, there were a lot of things I didn’t bother to find space for – some of my favorite belongings I brought from the States like books and paintings, and my little tribe of quartz elephants. There’s even some stuff I didn’t unpack in our first apartment either, like the trio of mirrors I adored in my home in New York. And even though where we live now isn’t permanent, I’m pushing myself to get grounded here and make space for the things that are important to me, to stop living out of my suitcase and treat this place like home. I’m realizing that the more care and attention I put into where I am, the more connected I feel to myself.

I’ve been doing a lot of emotional and mental unpacking, too. As I’m taking things out of boxes and mindfully placing them somewhere in my new home, I feel like I’m letting go of the idea that I have to “make do” with the way things have been and keep my belongings (and myself) out of sight until I’ve got it all together and everything is perfect. As I unwrap my favorite glasses and decorate the porch to reflect how I want to feel and function in my space, I’m releasing the layers of conditioning I’ve accumulated over the years around not having enough and needing to have (and be) more. This process is a reminder that nothing – not me or my environment – is fixed, and I can always start again. That there is always an opportunity to grow and expand. That embracing my life as it is, however temporary, is a beautiful and healing thing.

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