I’ve been getting up in that tarot this week. First, a birthday reading to get some inspiration about where I am in my life right now at forty years old. Then, a reading this morning for the new moon solar eclipse. The cards are speaking to me. A lot of major arcana coming up, deep and soulful ones like Death and the Hanged Man. The kind of cards that give me pause about rushing ahead into making decisions, and call for reflection.
This new moon and eclipse are also in my sign, Virgo, which has me feeling pensive. The themes that my readings are illuminating – trust, surrender, release, transformation – are all over me right now. Everything feels like it’s slowing to a crawl and I find myself needing to just sit my ass down and meditate. It seems like suddenly there’s so much to process.
I thought September would start off with heavy hustle and get me deep in my grind. Wrong. Nothing this week has gone as planned. Mercury retrograde said, Bitch. Stop.
This morning I woke up and the most important thing was for me to sit quietly and listen to myself. Connecting with my intuition came fiercely to the foreground.
At the root of this shift in focus is the awareness that so much in my life is changing, in many ways that I can’t see yet. A lot feels unsettled. There are so many moving parts working simultaneously, even as I am uprooted with no permanent home and finances in flux, figuring it out as I go. As much as I long for clarity, I know there are layers to the shit that can’t be rushed or neatly folded like laundry. I have to surrender to the moment. I have to trust that what I’ve been building will support me. I have to believe that it is all for the good.
I won’t struggle with this. It is what it is.
This month begins the September celebrations of Belize’s independence. There will be partying, shenanigans and a festive mood all over the country. I want to get into the spirit and celebrate my own independence, my freedom, my life. I am here.
But for now, the stillness. For now, a release of the need to know. For now, I listen.