Onward & Upward

tree in gardenMercury turned retrograde today. I’m feeling the slowdown as I wrap things up before traveling to New York for the holidays. My focus is shifting inward now. As I’ve been reflecting on the year that 2016 has been (FIERCE), I’m allowing myself to feel all that’s coming up. It’s been an emotional ride. There have been losses and intense challenges. There have also been wonderful moments. I’m grateful for all of it.

This year taught me about how resilient I am, how I keep moving forward even when shit hits the fan. And now, two weeks before the end, I’m surrendering. Rather than pushing to get those last goals met or striving to end the year on a perfect note, I’m accepting all that it is and was. There is no more to do. I have done enough.

It’s time for comfort and connection. Ro and I put up our Christmas lights and have been playing Vince Guaraldi’s Charlie Brown Christmas album, our rituals for the holidays. I’m looking forward to seeing the people I love in New York, smelling a real pine tree decorated with ornaments, hugs, good wine and foods I’ve been craving. I just want to be with folks now, to hold myself and them in love amidst all the chaos and madness in the world.

Belize is home now. And New York still is. It’s apropos that I’ll be going back during the retrograde – revisiting, reconnecting, remembering, renewing. There is love waiting for me there.

I’m hopeful about 2017. I think we’ve all gone through something and have come out on the other side. We may not recognize where we are now, but we’ll figure it out as we go. I have faith in us. Onward and upward.

 

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